The reality of losing a loved one and the fact that they cannot be met again is understood, yet why do we struggle to accept this? Neuroscientist Barbara Blatchley, who lost her husband Christopher after 36 years together in 2018, wandered aimlessly through her dark home. She walked incessantly, seeing her husband's face in the faces of strangers.
In her anguish, Blatchley questioned why we continue to seek out those who have departed. Why does grief linger for so long? Her exploration of these questions, based on diaries she began writing after her loss and research in neuroscience and psychology, culminates in her book, Discovering Grief. The subtitle, 'The Science of Life After Loss,' reflects her examination of the profound pain of loss through a scientific lens.
For instance, the behavior of searching for a lost loved one resembles a child's 'separation response.' A child who is separated from their mother cries loudly and searches everywhere for her. This behavior has evolved to increase the chances of reunion. Adults are no different; even knowing that the death of a loved one means permanent separation, they continue to yearn for and search for them. The brain, having loved, behaves like a child who has lost their mother, persistently seeking the departed for a time.
The book addresses the stress and physical changes caused by grief, the reasons emotions of loss persist, the roles of psychological and physical pain, and the processes of adaptation and recovery. Blatchley does not approach grief as something to be overcome or eliminated. Instead, she helps readers understand why they keep searching for the deceased, why they struggle to sleep, and why pain that had subsided suddenly resurfaces. She reassures, "Do not forget. With time, things will improve and you will be okay," while also advising, "If time passes and you are still not feeling better, it is essential to talk to someone."
"There is a cognitive-evolutionary theory that combines the ideas of Bowlby, Archer, Freud, and Ness to explain the function of grief. According to this theory, we exhibit typical separation responses immediately after losing a loved one. We miss that person, search everywhere for them, and feel anxious, behaviors that have evolved to increase the likelihood of reuniting with significant figures from our childhood. Eventually, we come to realize that the loss is permanent, feel sadness, reflect on our relationship with the departed, and reorganize our lives." (p. 44)
번영의 대가=수닐 암리스 지음, 추선영 옮김, 이봄.
Sunil Amris, a history professor at Yale University, examines the past 800 years of world history, asking, 'What have we sacrificed for the prosperity we enjoy?' The book traces the movement of people, goods, art, animals, and even pathogens, starting with the Mongol Empire, through the Age of Exploration, the Industrial Revolution, and World War II. Amris points out that while human prosperity has reshaped and destroyed the Earth's environment, it has also achieved positive outcomes, such as reducing hunger and disease. However, he prompts readers to consider who has benefited from this prosperity and what kind of life should be termed 'prosperous' in the future.
"In May 1942, Hitler described the struggle for food as follows: 'We fight to seize food, to secure the basis of life, to grasp the raw materials provided by the Earth, to obtain the natural resources buried beneath the soil, and to reap the fruits that the soil provides to those who cultivate it.' As World War II showed signs of protraction, the food produced in occupied areas became crucial to Germany's combat capabilities. A statement from a Nazi regional leader, 'One grain, two grains, three grains,' reveals what Germany demanded from the regions it annexed, particularly Poland." (p. 265)
* This article has been translated by AI.
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