[Photo by Yoo Dae-gil = dbeorlf123@ajunews.com]
SEOUL, Dec. 19 (Aju News) -- SHINee member Kim Jong-hyun complained about extreme mental fatigue and depression in his letter sent to his friend before he was found dead in an apparent suicide
In a police search Monday at the request of Kim's sister who reported that her brother was trying to commit suicide, the 27-year-old, better known as Jonghyun, was found unconscious at a rented studio apartment in southern Seoul at 6:10 pm (0900 GMT).
The singer was moved to a nearby hospital under cardiac arrest and received CPR but he failed to regain consciousness. Police discovered brown coal briquettes burnt in a frying pan at the scene.
About 12 hours after Jonghyun's death, Nine9, a female member of South Korea's mixed band "Dear Cloud", revealed a letter allegedly written by Jonghyun. In an Instagram post, she described the letter as Jonghyun's suicide note and said his relatives agreed to disclose it.
"I don’t' know if this is the right thing to do, but Jonghyun made a personal request asking me to upload this letter if he is no longer with us," she wrote.
In his note, Jonghyun alluded to death. "If you ask me why I chose to die, I would say that I was tired. I suffered and agonized over this," he wrote. He expressed extreme mental fatigue and loneliness. "The depression has engulfed me", he said, adding he always felt alone and wanted to run away from his tiresome life.
The singer revealed hostility towards an unnamed doctor: "I am sick because of me. It's all my fault and because that I am a fool. Doctor, is this what you wanted to hear?" He answered his own question: "No. I have done nothing wrong. I thought that being a doctor was easy when you blamed my personality with your soft voice."
Jonghyun concluded with a request. "I have nothing more to say. Just tell me I've done a good job. Tell me I have done enough. Pat me on the back for going through all the trouble. Though I think there won't be any smiles, please set me free without blames. Goodbye!"
His agency, SM Entertainment, said Kim's body was kept at Seoul Asan Medical Center for the funeral.
The death of Kim, who debuted in May 2008 as SHINee's main singer, shocked fans because the singer had been active and was to hold concerts together with SHINee members in Tokyo and Osaka in February. Kim's last public appearance was at his solo concert this month in Seoul. He had pre-taped a segment for a Christmas Eve cable TV show.
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